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Trans Euphoria

There are very few places, or times that I can say I looked at myself and went 'awwww yea'. However, I'm doing it more and more these days. Whether that is because I have gotten rid of my chesticles or because of the sea, I am not entirely sure. However, all I can say is that this is not the face of someone uncomfortable.

Photo credit to Ellie - my swim buddy and very good friend. Not pictured - a tonne of sunscreen on my chonky white skin. Wear sunscreen folks.


This is, however, the face of a trans warrior who is starting to feel fierce. For me, swimming shirtless is one of the single-most affirming things. I have a lot of super fine hairs on my chest and so when the first wave crashes over them, or I duck under, I almost always look down with a smile. Then I get an 'awwww yiss' moment.


I still can't really swim fully. We mostly bob around or I do breast stroke, but that's largely because I still can't raise my arms up fully for any other stroke, except I can lie on my back and kick which is, in a word, bliss. I move along, with my arms out to the side, sound deadened by the water, and on a day like this at the height of summer, I can watch the clouds and pretend I'm gliding like a bird. Tell me that isn't heavenly?

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Ellie Pauline
Ellie Pauline
Jul 13, 2021

Feeling AND looking fierce!


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